


It's too Cold Here

by nevillesgreenhouse



Series: Save Me [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014), legends of tomorrow (mentioned)
Genre: Hurt Leonard Snart, Hurt!Barry, M/M, Protective Leonard Snart, Temporary Blindness, Torture, blind!Barry, major character death is temporary...kinda???, mentions of medical procedures, mentions of that bastard Lewis Snart, mick rory has a heart, minor lisa/cisco, minor mentions of events in legends, so summary works, wikapedia level medical procedures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-07-12 10:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7099258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevillesgreenhouse/pseuds/nevillesgreenhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry Allen has been held hostage in a room for longer than he knows. Hungry and injured he starts to hear things he knows can't be, namely the voice of a man he knows is dead. It's not often but every now and then he can hear that familiar drawl and feels hope spark in his chest.</p><p>Leonard had been drifting in a world separate from the one he once inhabited. Surrounded by a vortex of blue and red lightning, trapped alongside his family and home without being able to make contact with anyone he drifts. He begins to lose hope when he finds himself with Barry, the only person who seems to be able to respond to him.</p><p>Too bad Barry can't see anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is my first flash fic, please check out my notes at the end!

Everything was dark and quiet except for the drip of a pipe in the roof. Barry was sat on a hospital bed pushed to the corner of his tiny cell. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, didn’t even know how he got there but he knew he’s been missing for a while. They didn’t feed him much wherever he was. From the moment he woke up in the room he’d been starving, so distracted was he by the feeling of emptiness that he didn’t notice his surroundings and after he did it took him a moment to realise his hand was cuffed to the bed at an angle that made it almost impossible to lie down comfortably. He figured the dull ache in his shoulder was why he’s woken up still drowsy from whatever cocktail of chemicals his abductors had used to take him down.

As he came to realise all this he also realised his powers weren’t working, having noticed after trying and failing to phase through his cuffs. Not long after, he heard footsteps down the hallway outside the door to the other side of the room, through the door was a small circular window that was filled with a face, the first he’d seen in hours. They were dressed in blue hospital scrubs and upon noticing he was awake the man’s eyes widened with surprise before he rushed away. Barry was too shocked to react and soon the sound of gas being released reached his ears. Looking up he saw that the pipes in the ceiling were releasing a yellow mist before Barry fell back asleep.

It was dark and cold and terrifying, then it was bright and loud and nauseating and then it was dark again but now there was the beeping of a heart rate monitor and he couldn’t move. For days, weeks, months, however long he’d been there Barry had woken and slept on demand, he had lost patches of time, only knowing he’d been asleep by counting the new scars and injuries littering his body. Whoever had him seemed to be experimenting on him, injuring him in different ways. On his chest there was a patch on frostbite that was sluggishly healing, there was a scar from a stab wound on his thigh. He was healing from each but too slow to be healthy, too slow to erase the scars. In all the time they hadn’t fed him, not while he was awake, and probably not anything solid. He had long since learnt not to make any sounds, his throat was bruised from having been forced fed while unconscious. 

In some ways it was good that he wasn’t awake much, or at least most of his time in the room was a drug induced haze, he was conscious for a long enough period to really lose hope in his friends, knowing they would one day find him. He just hoped they wouldn do it before the people here took too much out of him.

When he woke up things were always different. He was used to feeling odd upon regaining consciousness, dizziness from blood loss was not uncommon, the feeling of cold on his head after they had shaved away chunks of hair, leaving overgrown patches, for better access to his skull was something that made him feel odd, the strange emptiness in his chest after they removed one of his ribs was another. The feelings passed in time, as his hair grew to a slight stubble he didn’t shiver as much, when he woke up the next time with his rib firmly back in place he didn’t feel so empty. This time was different. His head was still spinning and his eyes weren’t focusing but he noticed as he tried to blink away the black patched that they weren’t clearing, just moving. It only took him a few hours to conclude that they had injected ink or something into his eyes, and it was moving. He didn’t panic, not anymore but the wave of fear that spread through him was enough to knock him out for a bit.

When he came back to his senses he still couldn't see. He had had some time to process it and it didn’t take long to realise that losing his sight didn’t change much about the experience of being in a dark room alone. It just made the room seem darker. The only thing that made him feel worse, that threw him from the small bit of peace he’d managed to make with his circumstances, was when the ink would shift. He’s blink sluggishly or look somewhere else out of habit, automatically trying to focus when he saw some light, only to notice that the black liquid clouding his vision had moved with him, that it was still shifting. It made him nauseous. 

After a period of time the was put to sleep again twice and each time he woke the ink would still be there, still be moving. It became something to do, to blink and let his eyes wander, watching the patterns. In a way the ink was comforting, something he could control after so long without a choice. 

One time after he woke up he could’ve sworn he heard someone gasp. Someone whispering his name, and as he tried to clear his head of the tired fog he was sure he felt calloused fingers brushing away his overgrown fringe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's Len up to?

Len was not the same man he used to be. For one he was dead. Or maybe not completely dead. After his body was destroyed he was just still there. He could see and hear, taste and touch but no one else seemed to notice, he would move an object, feel the weight of it in his hands but no one would see it move, when he put it down, no matter where it would somehow end up where it started as soon as he looked away. 

That wasn’t the only strange thing that was happening around him, every now and then, when he turned his head or entered a room the world flashed bright blue and red and all he could see was a swirling mass of lightning. In those moments he felt like he was floating weightlessly, everything was too much but also peaceful, but then he would blink and suddenly be sitting on the waverider, or following Lisa into a coffee shop. That was another thing, sometimes he would wake up of a morning and be somewhere else. He could be in the infirmary, listening to Ray and Jax argue and the next day he could be in Iron Heights prison, watching the guards make their rounds. There was one constant though, no matter where he went no one noticed him. Until he woke up in a room.

It was tiny. Tall concrete walls and floors stained by rust and damp, old pipes leaked from the ceiling and everything was so cold. Len didn’t know why he was here, didn’t know what linked him to this room like every other location had, he’d never been here before. It took him a moment to notice the boy huddled on the hospital bed against the far wall. The boy was shivering with cold but almost silent, he was facing the wall in an uncomfortable position which Leonard accounted to wrist which was handcuffed to the bedframe behind him. The boy was wearing nothing but bloodstained sweatpants and an ill fitting sweater that obviously did nothing to keep out the cold which was seeping into Leonard’s bones.

Suddenly the boy groaned and shifted, he began to turn around, curling into himself slightly and tiredly blinking his eyes. It was then that Leonard noticed two things. The first, the boy was Barry Allen, the second, he was blind. The breath was knocked out of him and he couldn’t hold in the gasp that soon followed. Almost without his knowledge, Len stumbled to his feet before walking the short distance to Barry on weak legs. 

When he reached the younger man he paused, wincing in response to the closer look at the kid, at Barry. His hair was clipped at angles, parts were shaved to reveal angry bruises and puckered scarring that was still healing. He had deep circles below his eyes and his cheeks were sunken, his lips dry and bitten raw. Len took a deep breath to try and regain his composure before noticing the other injuries that someone, had given the kid. One of his hands was severely frostbitten, the other bent and mangled, his hip which had been revealed by the sweat shifting along with the younger man, was covered in bruises and more than one chunk of flesh had been torn out. 

He didn’t know what to do, he thought he might be sick. 

As he kept staring at the kid he found his gaze drifting to the other man’s eyes, still open slightly but unfocused. Now that he could see them better he realised he could still see Barry’s pupil and iris, but it, and the rest of his eye was clouded over by swirling black ink.

Len spoke only to choke on his words “Scarlet what happened to you? Kid, Barry, why?” he stopped talking and simply reached his hand out to smooth the frown lines on the kid’s forehead, fingers brushing through the matted fringe. Barry shifted again at the sound of his voice, his unseeing eyes flickering to where Len hovered over his prone form before drifting closed as he collapsed into the mattress his head leaned into the touch. Not long after Barry’s breath evened out and Len realised Barry must’ve been gasping for air, must’ve been in pain. Of course he was in pain, he’s been tortured. The thought had barely occurred to him when Len realised it was true, Barry had been tortured and Len was going to kill whoever was responsible. 

Looking back at the young man Len planned to somehow reach beyond whatever dimension he was in, thinking of ways to retrieve his cold gun, or maybe just kill them with his bare hands. Then he remembered that Barry was the Flash, who was technically his enemy. Yeah, my enemy. Mine, and i never tried to kill him. Whatever Barry was to Len he didn’t deserve this, no one did. 

A noise flowed through the door, footsteps, and Barry automatically tensed. Len’s head whipped around and his vision blurred into the blue and red sparks of lightning that flooded his world. Len tried to hold on to Barry, to the real world but was powerless. Instead he watched from afar as a woman dressed in a white lab coat walked into Barry’s room holding a chart. Then he was floating directionless in the lightning vortex. 

It was hard to think here he decided, hard to concentrate. When he couldn’t focus he decided to wait, he didn’t know what for but he knew something was coming. After a time that could be seconds or hours he blinked and was sitting on a couch at a cafe. Cisco was sat in front of him, tearfully telling someone something. As he came to his senses more he realised Cisco’s frantic hands were gesticulating in front of Lisa’s face. She looked tired, her hair was limp and she was wearing light makeup that did nothing to hide the dark bags under her eyes or how red and tear filled they were. As Len sat beside them he could finally focus enough to hear what Cisco was saying,

“He was just gone. After the fight with Zoom, after it was all over he left and didn’t come back. We thought it was fine, he needed time to cool off.” he paused, “We did something, Caitlin, the others and I, we did something to Barry. We locked him in the pipeline because we were stupid and though we knew what was best. It was a bad idea. He was so mad at us, rightfully so.” Lisa’s hand clasped around his comfortingly. “We thought that’s why he didn’t come back. We understood. After a while we decided maybe he’d gone to visit his dad’s grave so we left him alone to mourn. Before we knew it a week had passed without anyone seeing him, he hadn’t been to work, hadn’t come home. We freaked out, i called a friend of ours in Central City”

“The Arrow” Lisa cut in, Cisco smiled slightly.

“Yeah. He hadn’t seen Barry, a hacker on his team promised to keep an eye out for him on security cams but there’s not much you can track if Barry can run faster than anything out there.” Cisco let out a sob. “It’s been a month Lisa. He hasn’t come back. He’s my best friend, my hero. What if he’s hurt? What if we could help him but he hates us too much? I can’t lose him Lisa.”

“It’s okay Cisco, Barry tough, he’s the Flash, fast enough to keep up with my brother.” there she smiled, “he was. I’m sure he’s fine, and if he’s not we can find him, together. Lenny wouldn’t wanted that, after all the Flash is - was, his favourite nemesis, he’d haunt my ass if i didn’t look out for the guy.” Cisco let out a weak chuckle before his eyes widened,

“Oh my god Lisa i’m so sorry, i should be here for you but you’re doing all the comforting.” He wrapped her in a hug but she pushed him so they could face each other,

“We’re both going through something right now. We can comfort each other.” She smiled tiredly and wiggled her eyebrows before crumbling into Cisco’s arms. 

As Len took in the new information about Barry, the information about Lisa and Cisco’s apparent relationship, and that she knew about his death he wondered how long he’d been gone, or, in this new world. Then the world flooded into colours again and his thoughts drifted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand the next chapter! Thank you to everyone who commented/left a kudos on the first chap!
> 
> Sorry if theres any spelling or grammar mistakes, this is unbetaed right now.
> 
> i probs wont update this often but it'll be pretty regular. It's a fair bit longer than the first too so theres that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry wakes to find the voice again.

Barry woke up strapped to the table. It was a cold metal morgue bench with thick leather straps attached to hold his arms and legs. Looming around him he assumed were the three doctors that made up the entire cast of the people he’d seen throughout his time here. The people he’d heard. He wasn’t as scared waking up on the table now as he was in the first few days, when the acrid smell of chemicals made him dizzy and the bright white hospital lights blinded him, now they did nothing except make his limited vision only slightly worse. Now he could only hear the mumbled conversation around him, hear the clash on metal against bone and he could only smell the metallic rust of blood and the sharp tang on bleach.

As he waited silently, paralysed by whatever chemical cocktail that was running through his bloodstream to take effect he thought he heard the voice again, the faint gasp, the sound of rushing footsteps and the sound of his name called across the room in a rich, deep voice. Then what was left of his vision faded and the sounds disappeared. 

When Barry woke his head was resting against something warm. Fear coursed through his body, this was not something that usually happened, in his tense state he didn’t notice that he could move, even if it was just barely and still weighed down with sleep, Barry didn’t notice the soft strokes of fingers through his hair and he definitely didn’t notice that the voice from earlier was still there, now humming a familiar tune. When he came back to himself it was to his name whispered repeatedly and to the feeling on hands holding his own, calloused thumbs brushing circles into his palm, grounding him.

“Barry. Barry, it’s me, Barry you’re going to be okay. It’s just me Barry” each time the voice whispered his name Barry felt himself becoming more and more aware until he moved, realised he was on the floor, as far away from the bed as he could reach with his wrist still cuffed to the frame.

“Barry can you hear me? Can you look at me?” the voice continued. Barry raised his head, aiming his eyes first at the hands that still held his, shifting his body so that his weight was balanced over his knees and his arm wasn’t at such an uncomfortable angle, wincing at the sudden stab of pain and knowing that he’d done some sort of damage. The pain faded for a moment as he took stock of the rest of his body like he did each time he woke. Barry could feel some tightness on his head, new stitched then, and with every breath his ribs shuddered, another test. By standard means they hadn’t done much, this time. Barry wondered if the doctors had had to stop early for whatever reason.

His attention was drawn back to the voice and its commands, the man’s thumbs still grounding him, the man’s voice still keeping him focused. Sucking in a breath Barry looked up and tried meet the eyes of Leonard Snart, unsure of how successful he was. Leonard Snart, the man who was supposed to be dead and was somehow in his cell, with him. Comforting him.

In a voice croaking with disuse he whispered “I knew you were a hero.” A broken laugh tore its way out of Leonard’s chest. Barry’s eyes filled with tears “I guess this is me, finally going crazy” he added. Leonard smiled, a real smile, small though it was and let go of one of Barry’s hands, reaching his own to cup the younger man’s jaw. Barry leant into his touch, his eyes half closing and he felt the warmth radiating off the other man.

“I suppose it is.” Leonard confirmed. Looking into his eyes Barry decided that this had to be real somehow, because otherwise he couldn’t take another blow to his heart.

“How?” Barry asked with a trembling voice to match his shaking hands. 

“I don’t know.” came the reply. “One minute I was on the waverider, accepting my fate, being a hero” Len’s voice broke, “and the next I was somewhere else.” Barry tilted his head slightly in silent question. “I feel like I'm floating. I think I loose track of time. It’s so bright, it actually reminds me of you” Len’s voice was s quiet, he didn’t actually know why he was telling Barry so much but someone needed to know. “There’s lightning everywhere around me, blue and red, and if I stay here too long I forget everything until I wake up somewhere else.” After a moment he continued without a prompt, “I wake up somewhere I know, with someone I know but they can’t see me, no one can, except you. I followed Mick once, just walking for hours, and Lisa as she met up with your engineering friend, she was crying Barry, my little sister was crying over me and I couldn't tell her I was there” his voice was reduced to a trembling sob as tears rolled down his cheeks. Absentmindedly he thought that he usually would never allow himself to behave this way, that he was supposed to be calm. Cold. But not now, and never around Barry, the kid always seemed to draw the things he’d rather keep hidden out. But as he looked into Barry’s once green eyes and felt the younger man’s arms pull his head to rest against Barry’s shoulder, Len found himself clinging to the kid desperately. As he began to mourn himself, to mourn the connection he’d lost to the world around him, and celebrate the one link he’d found.

Leonard had only one question which he asked as he pulled away, eyes locked on Barry’s blacked irises “Who did this to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, its me again! thank you to everyone who've read this so far and who've left such kind kudos!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len gets a look around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you guys go! 
> 
> thanks for all the kudos, i hope you enjoy!

He didn’t know. He didn’t know. He didn’t know.

Barry tried to tell Len, as the man’s question repeated over and over again in his head. He was still half asleep the world was clouded by pain but he had managed to speak before, why couldn’t he know? The words were stuck in his throat and the more he tried to talk the worse he got. He began to tremble, his breath became gasping and stuttered. He was panicking.

Len noticed, of course he did and he pulled away from Barry to look him in the eyes. His words were spoken quietly as he fought to stay calm. When he was a kid, he’d had panic attacks, so had Lisa, they’d stopped after Lewis was locked away and even during the whole fiasco before his father’s death Len hadn’t had another, until after everything was over and He was hidden back in a cell did Len let himself break down. He knew Lisa was the same.

So he realised what needed to be done. He held Barry loosely, just enough that the other man was aware of his presence, he spoke in a soft even tone and repeated whatever phrases came to mind first,

“It’s okay Barry, i’m here. You’re safe, you’re with me. They can’t hurt you right now. Barry, you’re okay.” He kept talking for a while until his throat grew hoarse and then continued as Barry’s trembling slowed and his breath evened out. Finally, he came back to himself and Len allowed himself to breathe deeply. Patting circles into the other man’s arm they were silent for a moment.

“Thanks.” Barry croaked.

“Anytime.”

They were quiet again until a sound travelled through the closed door. Someone walking closer, again. This time, instead of flickering out Len stayed. His whole being staying grounded as he watched Barry panic once again. He felt Barry’s hand clutch his shirt as the sound of gas pouring from the pipe in the roof filled the room. As Barry’s hand grew slack Len held on tighter, laying Barry’s head on his lap and carding his fingers through the other man’s head he took up his calming chant once more until Barry’s eyes closed and his body fell completely limp.

After a few minutes the steps reached outside the door, crunch and whine of shifting locks broke the silence, then the screech of the heavy door being pulled open, followed by a whoosh of clean air drifting into the room, and the Len faced Barry’s captors, four men dressed in hospital scrubs and carrying a flat stretcher. Like everyone else they didn’t notice him, didn’t appear at all concerned with Barry’s position laid out on the floor. As far as Len could tell, any trace that he may be present in the room was lost on the four men, despite the fact that by all intents and purposes Barry must be settled with his head floating in mid-air, he may as well have been flat on the floor for all the men responded. They worked quickly, uncuffing Barry from the bed and working together to shift him onto the stretcher beside him before each taking a corner and walking from the room. Len was left paralysed, unable to hold onto Barry, unable to keep him safe. 

Len scrambled to his feet and launched himself out of the door as it started to close automatically. Once in the hallway, he noticed several things; that the door was one of five in the hallway, four were cells similar to Barry’s, each one had a pipe going into it that matched the one in Barry’s roof. That each room had the same door but different locking mechanisms, Barry’s was a series of physical locks, another had a large keyboard, one had an eye scanner and the last had nothing but a laser grid in front of it. The last door was at the end of the hallway, where the men were taking Barry. As Len walked behind them he peered into the window of each cell. Two were empty, one’s window was completely blacked out, and the third was set up similarly to Barry’s but held no one.

When the men reached the end of the hall one reached out and placed his hand on a gel pad and the door opened. The four men continued while Len automatically catalogued the locks and layout of the room. When he stepped into the next room he saw the only other place he’d seen with Barry. The operating theatre. Stark white tile and bright lights filled the space, it was large and sparse, hosting several screens on one wall and a metal operating table in the centre of the room.

The men didn’t stop there, though, they kept walking and that’s when Len noticed the entrance at the other end of the room. Continuing the hospital theme it was a set of double doors that the men pushed through, heaving Barry’s prone form headfirst out of the operating theatre, not caring that they were bashing his skull against hard wood and glass.

Outside was another hallway, this one much longer and devoid of other doors, as they walked Len took notice of the four sets of security doors, ready to fall from the roof or close in from the sides, he also took notice of the uniform care taken by the men to step over the patch of air a foot from the ground just in front of each door frame. Finally reaching the end of the hall the men paused before a nondescript wooden door before it was pulled outwards by a waiting figure, another man dressed in scrubs. Inside the door was a room Len could only describe as a prison cell, or perhaps a torture chamber.

White tiles gleamed off the walls similarly to the operating theatre but this room had three other doors. One, completely glass and on the other side was a room filled with chairs. Another door was heavy and black, made of thick steel and the last was similar to the one he had just walked through, made of dark wood. 

Len’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a soft groan followed by a whimper and he caught sight of Barry, waking slowly. His unseeing eyes were clouded by drug use and his skin was still deathly pale but his lips were moving, mumbling silent pleas for help and he began to tremble once more. Len made to step towards him, to reach out his hand and take Barry’s but the world around him shifted and he was pulled away, pulled into the swirling vortex of colour.

He let out a horrified whisper, 

“No.”

And knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken so long, tune in next time :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco's not crazy and Len reminisces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day!
> 
> I was gonna wait a few days to post this one but i couldn't stop writing!

After a time he woke and was somewhere else. It was one of his safehouses although to hi knowledge it hadn’t actually been used in months, maybe even a year but now it looked well lived in. The couch was pressed against the wall in front of a tv that hadn’t been there before. There were dirty dishes on the coffee table and a cup filled with the last dregs of coffee sat besides the chair on the floor. Lisa’s favourite spot.

Ever since they were kids Len would sit on a couch or a chair and Lisa would sit on the floor in front of him, leaning against his knees. It had started when they were little and Lewis would be in between drunken fits of rage, he would gather the two in the lounge to do homework or casually parade them to whatever coworker was around and they would sit quietly and separately from him. Len took the couch because it was easier to leap to his feet and take the hit, or shield Lisa, and she would sit on the floor to be a smaller target, because what fun was hitting something down when it was already on the floor.

When they grew up they kept sitting like this, it felt comfortable, safe. Even after Lewis was put away, even after Lisa moved away, anytime they were in a setting fit to sit and relax, this is how they’d sit. Mick had never questioned it and no one else had ever gotten close enough to see it.

Except Barry.

The scarlet speedster had shown up the first time Leonard and Mick had returned from their adventures on the waverider. They couldn’t stay for long but after a particularly tiring mission, or in the event of an emergency they would be dropped off. This first time had occurred after Ray had damaged his suit, he had insisted on fixing it himself and had insisted that they needed to go back to their time for him to gather the necessary equipment and tools. 

Upon arrival Mick and Len had split up, Mick had wandered in the direction of Saints & Sinners while Len headed straight for the safe house he knew Lisa was staying at. They hadn’t even been back for an hour when the speedster had appeared, running from a direction that could only be a wall. Len made a mental note to question him about that later. 

The first thing Lisa had done when she saw him for the first time in two weeks was hit him, the second thing was ask if he’d brought a present. He had shrugged and she had pouted until he produced a necklace, a simple golden trinket he had lifted from the past, she had given him a satisfied nod before she settled herself on the floor, mumbling that it was the least he could do for her after having up and left her worried for so long.

“It was two weeks, and I told you I was leaving.” he replied with a real smile, one reserved only for her, and on occasion Mick. He sat himself behind her on the couch, placing a pillow between his knees and her back and leaning down to clasp the gold chain around her neck.

“I know, but you had me worried.” her voice was quiet, tiny and he knew how true those words were.  
“Me too.”

They didn’t talk for a while after that. Lisa turned on the tv and played an old favourite off their shared Netflix. Halfway through the movie a red blur appeared in the room with them and Len spurred into action before registering who the intruder was. The familiar position reduced them to familiar reactions as Len threw himself in front of Lisa and she cringed into the plush couch behind him. 

What had followed was a stinted conversation, minimal explanation on their part and hurried apologies on Barry’s part as he raced to reassure Len that he was simply there to greet him. After a pause Barry Lifted his cowl and Len tensed minutely. Lisa noticed and giggled.

“You missed something while you were away.” She and Barry shared a smile. At Len’s confused look between them nodded to the taller man who said only,

“Cisco.” with a smile. Len should have guessed.

“So the guy squealed your little secret again did he? Maybe he has a weakness for Snarts” Len drawled. Barry blushed and raised his hand to rub the back of his neck sheepishly,

“Actually this one’s on me. I didn’t believe you when you said you had run off to be a hero, after all that wasn’t much of an explanation so I ran over here to confront you only to find Cisco and Lisa in a-” he paused at the slightly panicked look in Lisa’s eye, “-compromising position?” he finished, wincing and the duel death glared from each Snart sibling, one aimed at him from Lisa, and Len’s aimed at the woman herself. 

Len sighed, “Just tell me if I have ice him okay Lis? I know he’s one of the good guys.” Her gaze softened and she nodded but said,

“You’ll have to do it after I turn him into a pretty garden ornament though.” She smiled brightly and sent a flirtatious wink Barry’s way, “I’ll leave you two boys alone.” and she reached for her jacket which was draped over the chair and walked out the door.

Len turned to Barry only to catch the other man suddenly looking away. They were quite but their conversation seemed paused rather than ignored, Barry seemed to be gathering his thoughts. When he looked up however, it was with a sunny smile and an amused glint in his eyes,

Len waited for it.

“I knew you were a hero.”

“Shut up scarlet. And how did you know where i live?”

“I have my ways.”

“You got the boy genius to track Lisa’s gold gun didn't you?”

“...no.”

 

\-----

 

That was then however, and this was now. 

Now Len was alone and invisible and another safehouse and Barry was locked away in some horrifying place somewhere getting tortured. Len’s thoughts spiraled as he imagined worse case scenarios, they had taken Barry into a different room, maybe they kept going after he had left. Who knew what was happening to the kid. His thoughts were interrupted by a sound coming from the other room. A crash, someone had dropped a plate.

From the doorway stepped someone Len supposed he should have expected to see, Cisco. He and Lisa had been almost dating for a few months when Len died, and he didn’t know how long had passed so it made sense that Cisco would be at her apartment. Maybe it was their apartment now Len thought distractedly. Then Cisco spoke,

“I know you’re here man.” he said, and there was a pregnant pause. “At least I was pretty sure you were.” He mumbled softly as his eyes searched through the room. “I thought I heard you speaking last week at the coffee shop, and then again a few days ago at the labs.” He paused and let out a chuckle.

Len was about to say something but he didn’t know what to say so he just stood there gaping for a moment too long and Cisco was speaking again, “Look Snart, Barry’s missing. I’m not sure what that means to you but I know you two didn’t have a normal hero-against-villian relationship. I mean, I’m pretty sure Lisa’s told me about a movie night at some point?” He laughed again, shaking his head, “That’s just like Barry isn’t it? He always trusted you, even after you stapped us, stabbed him in the back. In the end i guess he was right though. You were a hero, and right now i think we need a hero, because ours is missing.” By the time Cisco had finished his eyes were shining with tears and his shoulders were tense as he stared at the wall three feet away from Len’s head.

“I know.” Len managed to say, his voice raw and his words choked. “Oh god do I know.”

Cisco’s whole body sagged. In part to relief, that he wasn’t going crazy, that at some low level he was sensing, vibing Snart, his girlfriend’s dead brother. But also in defeat because Snart’s barely heard voice relayed his worst fears, that something terrible was happening to Barry.

“Is he -Is he like you?” Cisco said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“No. But I’ve seen him.”

“Where?” there was a desperate edge to his voice, his dark eyes flickering for the source of Len’s voice.

“I don’t know. But it’s bad Cisco.” The other man step back until he fell into the couch.

“I have to find him.”

“Yes.” Len said with a steely note of finality.


	6. Chapter 6

Barry was alone once again.

Len was gone, he must’ve disappeared at some point when Barry was being moved, he remembered the soothing voice and strong hands that held him as he fell unconscious. He didn’t know where he was now though, he knew he wasn’t in his cell and he wasn’t on the table, there were no sounds of hospital machinery and doctors moving around him but there was the sound of shallow breathing coming from the other side of the room. 

Wherever he was it was cold. Freezing. Barry didn’t do well with the cold. As he moved his eyes around, hoping to catch a glimpse of light in the swirling mass of ink he realised something. He could see. Not much but it was better than before. The ink was moving better, swirling around every time he looked to a different direction so that instead of seeing nothing it seemed like he was just looking through murky water. It was still dark and he could only really make out outline but he could see.

It was enough to find the source of the breathing and all of a sudden Barry wished he was still blind.

 

\----------

 

“We need a plan.” Cisco mumbled for the sixth time, “You need to go back to him, you need to find his location. We need to make a plan.”

“For the last time I don’t control where I go, i just turn up there.” Len sniped. His shoulders were tense and his back was rigid, not that Cisco could see, no one could see him. 

“Okay, okay, cool it Cold. Lets figure out what to do now.” Cisco replied as he began to pace through the living room. He stopped suddenly and looked to where he last heard Len’s voice and said with certainty, “We need to go to star labs”

“Why?”

“Because that's where i keep my goggles, with my goggles i can see you and i can try to get a vibe off you. Maybe that’ll lead us to Barry.” Cisco nodded to himself each step of his plan, as if reassuring himself of what to do. Len agreed and walked to the door, stopping when he realised Cisco wasn’t following,

“Let’s go c’mon.” 

“Sorry i wasn’t sure if you’d heard. I'm assuming you responded?” Len didn’t reply but Cisco walked to the door anyway.

In the time it took for Cisco to drive the few blocks between the apartment and star labs were lost on Len, he wasn’t off daydreaming and he hadn’t disappeared back into the void. It was just like the missing twenty minuted never existed. He tried to shake away the discomfort that news brought. That he kept missing time. So he ignored his worries and followed the shorter man into the building.

Inside Cisco walked straight into a back room, his labs but Len stayed back. Standing in the main room he found himself drawn to Barry suit, standing upright on its mannequin against the wall, when he couldn’t look at it any longer he turned, finally taking in the details of the rest of the room. The med area with it’s gurney, the consoles, even the kitchenette off the one side. He’d only been here a few times, usually with bad intentions but now this room seemed comforting, he clung to the details, trying to memorise them before this place was ripped away from him.

A noise startled him as Cisco returned, a chirruping sound that Len realised had signalled a text message from the younger man’s phone. As he walked around the doorway into the lab Len caught sight of a pair of goggle-like glasses,

“Cisco i’m touched that you’re a big enough fan to model your look after me” Len said with a usual brand or dry humor. Cisco who had been reading something on his phone looked up, a sarcastic laugh on the tip of his tongue until,

“Holy shit! You’re here. And i can see you! This is amazing!”

“What do you mean? How?” his tone as coloured by disbelief.

“Oh man, you missed a lot while you were away, i mean, i know you know the basics through Lisa but i didn’t tell her everything, and she probably didn’t tell you much either.” Cisco was laughing now, a breathy sound of relief. “I have powers too, i get visions, i call them vibes. Sometimes i just know things. I see the future and the past, Earth-2 me could manipulate energy!” The man’s excitement was infectious and Len felt himself smile minutely.

“Okay so now we’re talking! Now this ay feel a little weird but I’m going to touch your arm, okay Snart? I’ll see if i can get a vision off you.” Cisco took a step towards him holding out his hand in offering just above his shoulder before looking at Len, waiting for permission, Len nodded and stepped closer, until he felt fingertips brush against the fabric of his t-shirt.

Pain. Stronger than he’d felt in a long time seized him, paralysed his whole body and he became tense. Biting his tongue Len tried to hold in a scream but a pained yelp managed to escape, Cisco jumped back as Len’s legs collapsed under him and he fell into a twitchy mess on the ground. Moments later Len’s world blurred and he knew he would disappear, and he looked to Cisco, aware that the younger man’s lips were moving, that he was yelling but all Len could hear however was the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears.

He woke up in the void, his body still suffering aftershocks from the pain. Around him the swirling colours seemed to wake him further instead of lulling him into sleep like usual. He floated aimlessly for a time until he no longer felt the pain and his body had stopped trembling but the moment he recognised these sensations, or lack thereof he felt like he was being pulling in every direction. There was no pain but a strong sense of discomfort.

The colours around him grew brighter and brighter until Len had to close his eyes against them, and then everything stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that wasn't the reaction they were hoping for, sorry Len.
> 
> I promise i'll do more from barry p.o.v next chapter and hopefully work a few more characters in. So far we've had a tiny snippet of lisa so maybe i'll put in some iris and mick??? who knows!
> 
> Enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its back! and another thrilling addition to the story is here :)

One moment he was there and then he was gone. His scream was still echoing through the room when Cisco’s shaking hand touched nothing but air. How did this even happened?

After months of searching for Barry, months of watching Lisa grieve, of helping her put her heart back together and suddenly his whole world had shifted in the space of half an hour. And Cisco may have just destroyed the best thing that had happened to him, to any of them in months. 

Leonard Snart, the man who was once Captain Cold, the Flash’s nemesis, Leonard Snart the man who became a hero, Leonard Snart the brother of his girlfriend, and his only link to his kidnapped best friend. Gone. No, not just gone, by the sound of that scream, in excruciating pain, that Cisco had done to him.

And now he was nowhere to be found.

What was he going to tell Lisa? Or Iris? That the only link to their brother had disappeared once more? He remembered how upset Lisa had been that she didn’t even have a body to bury, and how empty Iris looked, how drained her face was. No matter how long it had been. Eddie told him last week that she’d been having nightmares, Cisco knew personally that Lisa wasn’t faring any better.

And then there’s Caitlyn to worry about. After Ronnie died, after the singularity there were days where she just wasn’t there. Now it was happening again, she’d just learnt to hide it better. 

Joe was a mess. He’d tried to keep up the charade for Wally, for his other son. Tried to be happy he was here, grateful. But every time he looked at the kid all Joe saw was his other son. Both so young and excited about life. He’d broken down a few days after Barry initially went missing and Wally had called Iris. She and Eddie had showed up to find Joe was a blubbering mess. Together the three of them had told Wally about Barry, had told him everything. About the reverse flash and Nora Allen, about the particle accelerator and about the singularity which had killed one of their friends, and had almost taken Eddie. The blonde had stuttered over his part of the story, reliving the experience of being held hostage, of finding out it was his own descendant who was hell-bent on killing the man whom he had grown to love as a brother. Iris had taken over then, explaining how Eddie had shot himself, and in the commotion Jow had shot Eobard, that somehow Caitlyn in her grieved state had managed to keep Eddie alive long enough for the first-responders to get to the scene and take him to Emergency.

They also told him about Zoon, the new threat to Central City, to Barry. About the night Zoom almost won, when he had broken Barry’s back and left him temporarily paralysed. They’d managed to laugh at Wally’s epiphany over Barry’s strange behavior, linking odd conversations with whatever meta-human threat he’d been facing.

Since then they’d all come together, started to heal but with one phone call he had wrecked it all. Cisco had let everyone down.

He looked down at the screen of his phone, at the message he’d sent, and the blurry heat scan of Leonard Snart captured on the security cameras, 

TO: Golden Girl

HE’S ALIVE  
(file attached: pic.LEN)

 

\-------------

 

Barry’s heart raced as he tried to process what he was seeing.

The men were on the other side of the room, reading folders and checking data at a desk, behind them however was something worse than the men. Behind them was Leonard Snart, face rotten and grotesque and covered with burns, was surrounded by a glass cylinder. Like some awful parody of a sci-fi cryogenic chamber, or a crueller version of the pipeline cells.

Barry’s stomach churned and he suddenly bent over, heaving the little he had in his stomach out onto the white tiled floor. The sound drew the attention from the men who paused their activities. The one who had been standing in front of the cylinder stepped around the others and made to walk over to Barry only to be stopped by a hand on his arm by another of the men. Barry, now with a better view of Len’s body wished he didn’t and without conscious thought stood up and took several hesitant steps forward, barely registering that he was free from shackles.

Up close it was worse. Pale skin rendered more so in death, ugly burns had turned blue and yellow by bruising, the forensic scientist in Barry noted that this meant Len was alive for long enough after the explosion for bruising to set in. He reached out his hand and touched the frosted glass, around his the men had stapped back to the other side of the table, watching his movements carefully. Then one spoke,

“Do you know who this man is Mr Allen?” He was quiet, his tone emotionless. “This is Leonard Snart is it not?” he continued.

“Yes.” Barry replied, quieter than the man, an obvious tremble in his voice.

“Do you know why you are here Mr Allen?” another man spoke. “It is because of him. He took something that belongs to us, and we want it back.”

Confused, Barry said “then why do you need me? Why have you been doing to me what you have?”

“Because it will cure him.” They replied in unison.

“But he’s dead, isn’t he?”

“No.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Barry realises his greatest fears Len lets himself break down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while bit i'm back, enjoy!

One of his greatest fears had been realised. Since the incidents between General Eiling and, well, any metahuman he had ever met, Barry had worried about what may happen to him. He didn’t tell anyone, never let on that he secretly feared for his life from the people he risked it to save in the first place. But he was a realist and a scientist, he knew curiosity drove science and the chance for discovery often clouded morals, stupidity and fear were just fuel to the fire. Eiling was proof of that.

Even when he’d first woken up, when his hero Harrison Wells was the one telling him that he could help people with whatever messed-up biology gained by the particle accelerator explosion, even when it was spun brightly, hopefully, kindly, Barry felt a stab of panic in his gut. He thought back to that first moment, when he first felt the fear of what others may do,

“Inside your body, could be a map to a whole new world genetic therapy, vaccines, medicines, treasures, Barry. Deep within your cells, and we cannot risk losing everything because you wanna go out and play hero.”

Harrison Wells, or rather Eobard Thawne, had made it sound like Barry was a gift to the scientific community, that he was now an object, but more than that it seemed like Barry suddenly had an obligation to give himself up to tests and hospitals for the rest of his life. Like a virus strain or a sample of a rare tumor. Nothing more that a tool for scientific study.

It scared Barry more than he liked to admit.

But Leonard had known that, he had been the only person to talk to Barry about it, the only person he’d confided in, back when they were still truly enemies, not whatever they turned into when the other man started traversing through time. They never talked about it again. But for some reason Barry had always felt comforted that someone, that Len knew his deepest darkest fear, besides the man in yellow, was the people he protected.

 

\-------------

 

It had been a long day. A long week actually, at the start he had, like always been late for work, following that there had been a murder and a suicide to attend to, several files to complete, and this was during the time just after Eddie had found out. All in all Barry has beyond stressed and he felt he was entitled to a tiny power nap at work midway through a six hour shift that had somehow stretched into twelve, only he had a nightmare. Not the usual one about his mother’s last moments, or the more recent nightmares about the meta of the week. This one was one he couldn’t ignore, one that gripped him tight and kept him jumpy for days after. He dreamt about hospitals and doctors and tests and never leaving sanitary rooms for the rest of his short life.

Given the situation he was in he could also be forgiven for his easily startled and emotionally haywired state upon entering Jitters. It was a habit leftover from their childhood, from the nights spent next to Iris after either had had a nightmare, after nights in college where she had crashed in his dorm rather than return to Joe’s, drunk and underage. He had to be with her, even if he couldn’t tell her the nature of his nightmare. 

Perhaps over the years she had built up a sort of sense of Barry’s behavior, perhaps she had powers of her own, though more supernatural than metahuman but Iris always knew something was up and if Barry didn’t immediately tell her something or allow her to comfort him things got nasty. Cold shoulder and passive aggressive pranks nasty. Once she had glued his favourite mug to the sink, another time she had moved everything in his office to the left slightly. Almost all of the senior staff at the CCPD had been in on that one, all aware of just how terrifying an annoyed Iris West was.

So Barry found himself in the cafe in the middle of the afternoon, having not seen his own house in nearly two days due to incidents related to both of his lives. When they made eye contact over the busy expanse of chairs and caffeinated students her eyes narrowed, when he didn’t move she squared her shoulders and set her lips into a pout, when he looked away and shuffled over to one of the soft leather couches he didn’t hesitate to follow. Barely pausing to yell to the other barista anymore than Barry’s name she walked across the room to him and sat besides him, gathering him into her arms.

Barry smelt coffee beans and Iris’ apple shampoo and felt himself relax. This was something grounding, something he was used to. However, neither said anything for a few minutes before Iris was called back to the counter. She sent the waitress, Anna, over with a caramel latte not long after, knowing Barry’s order off by heart.

He sat there for nearly an hour, technically on a mandated break but still working, he was actually thankful he’d thought to bring a few of the non-classified files with him to work on. The change of scenery helped him calm down and settle into a routine. He would finish a paper, sip his drink, Anna would bring him another every time he finished one, and then he would move onto the next paper.

Imagine his surprise when he felt the couch dip under the weight of another person. Suddenly memories of his nightmare resurfaced, along with other, battle worn reflexes and he reacted maturely and accordingly.

Meaning he yelped in surprise and upended his latte over the other man.

Who turned out to be Leonard Snart. A very damp and unamused looking Leonard Snart, despite what the twinkle in his eyes might suggest.

Barry’s body once again acted reflexively, after years of similar incidents, even as he took in the sight of his sometimes nemesis he was reaching for napkins and spouting apologies as he tried to soak up the coffee before it stand his expensive looking shirt and jacket.

Now Leonard most certainly looked amused if the slight quirk of his lips was anything to go by.

“Well, well, scarlet. Is this where the nerds go to hideaway?” the man smirked. Barry paused his apologetic babbling so sigh deeply. “What’s up kid, not happy to see your favourite criminal?” The man sat back into the couch, looking to all the world he didn’t care about the large dark stain on his dark blue shirt.

“Yeah, not like you haven’t made winter puns at least once during a very serious criminal situation.” Barry grumbled.

“The puns are an ice-breaker, without them our working relationship could grow frigid.” Len sniffed with fake indignity.

“You just did it!” Barry yelled, “twice!”

“So I did kid, maybe I'm just warming up for later.” Len smiled. Barry’s face dropped, his small smile sinking and suddenly Leonard took in his pale skin and dark undereye circles. His annoyingly lofty had also lost some of its volume. Len wondered idly if the kid was sick. Maybe two heists in one week was tiring to more than just him, Mick and Lisa. Maybe he should give the kid a break.

“Oh god, please don’t” Barry whined, his head falling into his hands. “I don’t think I can deal with any more crime until I can sort out all this.” he continued, gesturing with one hand to his paperwork on the small table in front of the pair, while the other hand rubbed at his tired eyes.

Len smirked, “So don’t, you know, crime doesn’t wait for heroes.” 

“Urgh, fine. Do whatever Snart.” He sighed and threw himself into the soft couch, pouting slightly. Len chuckled,

“Alright, maybe I'll hold off for a few days.” Barry’s returning smile was brighter than any of Lisa’s glittering jewels. Len tried hard not to notice the butterflies in his stomach or the way he wanted to see that smile again and again.

Not long after that Anne arrived with another drink for Barry, he must be on his fifth or sixth by now, he mused. The pair were quiet for a few minutes, both happily sipping their drinks and Barry slowly returned to his work, unsure in the face of this new exchange between sometimes nemeses.

“So what’s got your cowl in a twist?” Len asked after a time. 

Barry froze. Churning over in his dead how to respond. Should he tell Leonard Snart, aka Captain Cold, who was for all intents and purposes his enemy, that he had nightmares? That his biggest fear in the world was that the people he loved would turn him into little more than a test subject? He couldn’t, not really, but there was a voice inside him screaming that he could trust Len, with this much at least. He wasn’t sure why but right now, in this moment the man sitting next to Barry was Leonard Snart, not a thief, or a murderer, just a man who had dealt with some shit in his life too. The voice told him that if he needed to talk to anyone right now, Len was his best bet. Len would know what to say, he would also know to never say anything to anyone else.

Barry knew what he was going to do.but he wasn’t going to lay it all out for the other man. He couldn’t do that no matter how hard he tried.

“Have you heard of a man named General Eiling?”

 

\-----------

He opened his eyes to see Lisa. She was asleep, passed out on the couch in the old safe house she now shared with Cisco. On the floor beside her was an empty bottle of scotch and a half drunk bottle of whisky. So she’d been thinking of him again, those were his brands.

He wondered how long it had been since he saw Cisco, what had happened after. He tried not to think about Barry and how long it had been since he saw him. What he did focus on was what had happened last time he was anywhere besides the vortex. What Cisco had done had hurt him more than his death, more than anything he’d ever felt, but it had also allowed him to feel in a way he hadn’t since dying. While he could feel wind on his face, heat on his skin and touch objects, things felt different wherever he was, separate, numb. Sensations weren’t quite as strong.

But when Cisco touched him he could feel everything tenfold, he could feel his clothes brush against his skin, the unwashed grime caked on him since the explosion, he could hear the world around him fully and Len wanted that back, even if it meant all that pain again.

On the couch Lisa stirred, her hand moving from where it hid under a comforter that could only belong to Cisco given the Star Wars print it sported, to rub at her eyes as she sniffed. Not long after a bubbly sound broke the silence of the room and Lisa slowly reached her hand to find her phone on the ground, picking it up Len saw a text from Cisco, asking if she was okay. Given the look of things Len would reply with a strong no.

Lisa didn’t reply though, she pressed the side button on her phone and stared at the black screen for a moment before throwing the phone away, and hiding her head back under the blanket. It landed somewhere by her feet, suddenly hidden by the millennium falcon.

Seeing his little sister like this, so alone and sad broke Len’s heart. Knowing that while he was here, aware of her presence she was not, that he couldn’t comfort her like he did when they were kids, that he couldn’t somehow let her know he was okay. Instead he sat on the floor by her feet and rested his head against her legs. Their positions swapped from their usual dynamic. He hoped she could somehow get comfort from this, it was all he could give. He was so tired, so beyond desperate, so drained, he didn’t know what to do anymore. For the first time in many years he felt tears prickle around his eyes and he didn’t hold them back, he could never hide his emotions from Lisa, never even tried, and now no one could see anyway.

Len cried next to his grieving sister that night, and when he had tired himself out he welcomed the darkness that pulled him back into the blankness of the vortex.


	9. The beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Len reunite, Len finds some clues that may lead to finding Barry's whereabouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha sike! you all though i would actually write this story with legitimate plans to update regularly, what a dream that was.
> 
> Serously though, i am sorry, there not too much of this to go so, enjoy!

The walls were too close, the lights were too bright and the silence was deafening. Barry Allen was once again alone, and this time he hadn’t seen anyone in almost three days, or what he assumed was three days. In that time he hadn't eaten either and while he’d grown used to the slight pang of hunger during his stay here, he was more than starving by now and extremely weak. Another key point to mention is that Barry also hadn’t seen hide-nor-hair of Leonard Snart, and at this point Barry was sure he’d dreamed up the ghostly presence. However he couldn’t feel the same about the man’s body as it now occupied the same room as him. Barry’s cot had been moved into the large room three days ago, while he was unconscious from the shock.

All he could think about was pale skin, blotched with colour, glassy eyes that stare into his soul. He want to puke again but there's nothing left in his stomach and he’s too tired to even move. He closed his eyes and listen to the gasping sound of his own breath echo through the large room, pointedly fixing his eyes on the wall opposite the body.

Then a different sound broke joined the fray, a gasping broken sobbing sound and when Barry turned his head he saw Len again. In double. One was cold and motionless, the other was dead. The first was sobbing and making no move to wipe away his tears, his lips were chapped blue and the other movement he gave off was the shudder in his shoulders with each breath. The other wouldn’ve been identical if it weren't for the corpse's lack of clothes. They existed together in that room for who knows how long, Barry breathing laboured breaths, Len sobbing and the body existing but nothing changed for eons. But then Len took a hesitant step forward, and another until he was running from the other end of the room to Barry’s cot, where he fell to the floor. They looked into eachother’s eyes and Len’s sobs subsided into hiccups and Barry’s breaths slowed, then together they leaned forward. Desperately drinking in the sight of each other. They’re foreheads bumped together and they nudged noses. Len squeezed his eyes shut and started mumbling under his breath, a reassurance to himself. He focused his eyes on something, anything that wasn’t concrete walls, a broken Barry or _himself._ Then he saw it, a small enamel plaque, embedded in the side of the desk, the only furniture in the room besides Barry’s cot. Len’s eyes darted around- There! On the side of his cryotube, the enamel plate, and again on Barry’s cot. If he looks carefully, Len could even make out the outline of the plate printed on the fabric of Barry’s hospital gown. A sharp cornered design consisting of a circle logo and three line, one horizontal on each side of the circle, and the third was vertical, inside the circle. He didn’t recognise it but it was a start. 

Then Len came back to himself, he heart Barry’s breath and felt the sharp cold of the room.

_It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay._ He repeated.

But it wasn’t, and it wouldn’t be, so the distract himself from those thoughts Barry leaned it to stop the mumbling with a firm, chaste kiss. It was simple and soft, only lasting a second but it did its job and Len was silent and still. He didn’t open his eyes though. To send another message Barry leaned forward again, kissing Len tenderly and pulling back to look into his eyes, they were still closed, though more relaxed. Finally, Barry tilted his head and kissed each eyelid before sitting back heavily, his energy exhausted but Len followed. His eyes snapped open and his lips fell onto Barry’s and he kissed him with a desperate edge, like a man on the edge of a cliff, holding on for dear life. 

They had to stop to breath and Barry noticed he was sobbing, his breathing hitched. He caught Len’s lip between his teeth and allowed himself a moment to breathe before he let go. He wrapped his arms around Len’s waist and pulled him down into him, Len tried to protest, afraid to crush the man underneath him who was no more than bones and gauze but Barry held tighter until Len sunk against him, shifting his weight under Barry’s arms to rest half on the cot. 

Barry was crying. The tears flowed down his cheeks. They dribbled onto Len as the older man peppered kisses and reassurances onto his pale sun-starved skin.

“I’m so sorry Len” he choked out. 

“No, don’t be like that. None of this is your fault.” Len whispered against the hollow Barry’s neck. 

“I couldn’t save you, you died.” he continued, barely hearing Len. “And now all this is my fault.” he whimpered as Len’s gaze shot to him, a hot, passionate emotion in his eyes.

“This is not your fault.” He repeated, his voice firm but worry and sincerity softened his tone.

“It is. I think i know why you’re here. Why i’m the only one who can see you. It’s me.” He rambled. “The men who have me are trying to bring you back to life. In a way they succeeded.” he mumbled, a hysteric edge to his voice.

Len didn’t care. He wasn’t listening, all he could hear was Barry was _here_ , being _tortured_ and it was _his_ fault. Some crazy assholes were torturing Barry because they had some sick interest in him. Why was this happening. 

“I’m so sorry” he choked out. “Bar, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, I’m so sorry.” Barry was watching Len now, they were both crying, both apologising. “I don’t know exactly what these guys want, but I’m so sorry its me.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m making up for my mistakes i suppose” Barry said in a pitifully small voice.

At some point the pair fell asleep, and once again when Barry woke he was alone. 

\-----------

Len woke alone, he felt nothing at all once again.

But this time he wasn’t anywhere familiar, he was in the middle of the woods. It was dark, early morning by his guess. He was standing in a large clearing outlooking a steep drop, Len went to step towards it when he heard a low rumble emanating from the ground. Suddenly two bright lights shone from out of the hill and sound grew louder until a giant 4-wheel drive roared out tunnel dug into the hill below him.

Something on the side of the car shocked him, it was some sort of insignia, the same one from the room Barry was locked in.

He knew where Barry was. He recognized these trees.

He had to find Cisco.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been a looooooong time and i am sorry my dudes. But here it is. the final installment of this fic. dont worry its not the end of the series, a sequel will follow.

Barry was in surgery again, but this time he knew he wouldn’t make it out. It seemed his captors had grown desperate in the last few hours, something had triggered it. Barry hoped they had been found out, that someone was coming to arrest them, though he knew it would be too late for him. 

He also hoped that if it was his friends, if they had finally found him, that they wouldn’t see him like this, suffering. He hoped he would pass before they arrived so he wouldn’t have to see them react, it was the coward’s way but he couldn’t face anymore pain. Not after all this.

At the same time though he was desperate to see their faces one last time, to say goodbye. To Iris, his sister, to tell her we was sorry for his weird crush but that he loved her dearly, that he was proud of her. To Cisco and Caitlin who always had his back, who patched him up and kept him sane. To Joe, for raising him, for being a surrogate parent. To his dad, to apologise for never proving his innocence. To everyone he knew, to everyone he was yet to know. 

But he needed to go. He was desperate.

_Maybe,_ he thought, _maybe I’ll see Len._ Suddenly his peace was violated, he felt angry, vengeful. _Why did they do this? For some sick fantasy? For revenge?_ Whatever they wanted with Len, Barry wouldn’t let them take it, wouldn’t let them pervert Len’s memory. 

He knew what to do know and smiled, taking a deep breath. He was ready but he needed to act quickly. He gathered all his strength and opened his eyes, looking around him to see three doctors in the room. Two were looking at him, inside him. They had cracked open his chest cavity again, he knew his ribs had already healed at an awkward angle and would hold if he moved, so he did. He lunged forward as quick as he could and took a scalpel from the tray table, stabbing one doctor in the eye, the other tried to stop him so he slapped the man with all the speed he could muster, sending the man into a wall.

The third man who had hung back was now charging at him, yelling incoherently, Barry reached for pliers and held them so the man ran into them, stabbing them through his stomach, holding his own inside him with his other hand. As he fell the man reached into Barry’s chest and crushed his heart. Barry felt it, and smiled again. The last thing he saw was the horror and dawning realisation on the man’s face at what he had done.

Barry had made his final rebellion, and ruined their plan.

\-----------

Len had been busy. After making his realisation he knew he needed to leave, needed to find Cisco but he didn’t know how. He had no control over his shifts. They just happened and he had no way to change it. 

Then, like the wind shifted a portal appeared next to him and Cisco’s voice rang through, calling out to Len and he stepped forward with no hesitation.

He stepped into the light.

\-----------

Barry looked with unseeing eyes and a smile on his face, at a tile wall and a room full of blood. 

A word echoed across the room though no one heard it, made with Barry's final rasp of breath.

_Goodbye_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i know your probably expecting more after all this time. Im sorry, ive actually been focusing on my studies and my novel (ive been writing it for almost 3 years now) but i put in some time today after i got a comment, out of nowhere! i didnt think people even read this still. so i felt i owed it to you to finish this work. Ill start of the sequel soon and ill hopefully be updating ARTN too later today. 
> 
>  
> 
> catch you later.

**Author's Note:**

> Im currently swamped with school work and wrote this to de-stress. This'll update kinda slow but if you want more sooner just ask through the comments and ill try to write faster. there IS more to come!!


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